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10 March 2009 @ 09:44 pm
When You Gonna Realize, It Was Just That The Time Was Wrong, Juliet?  
So I haven't updated in a while.

Here's the deal with Dylan:
Last Thursday, he and I were walking down a street after the AP Euro review session. As I went to go the opposite way from him, he stopped me. He told me that he doesn't like me as much as I like him. That he only likes me as a friend. My guts churned inside, agonized. I nodded. "Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, totally." I played the strong one until we parted. I walked to Rite Aid and bought a Pina Colada flavored Sobe (I wanted to drink myself away, so why not drink something like alcohol, but way safer?). I walked to the library after that. The whole time, walking, I was fighting to keep from making a scene and embarrassing myself. I wanted to throw my binder on the ground and just cry. But my proud-self told me that I'd just be letting another guy get to me. So I obeyed and kept walking. I didn't start crying until I got to the library. Which sucked, because my nose got runny and I kept sniffling. The woman sitting at the table in front of me, with her back towards me, kept looking back at my sorry self. Eyes watery, red, and puffy, cheeks tear-stained, nose dripping. I looked like a sad excuse for a weepy child. But now, I'm kinda over him. As long as I keep telling myself that I don't like anyone, it'll become true. I think I should just shut up and keep my feelings to myself when they make themselves known to me. I won't tell anyone next time. Telling Dylan was a mistake. And I wish I hadn't told him.

Now that I'm done being whiny, I'll brag about ROTC. Maybe that'll distract me. I hate bragging though... Oh well. This is my journal, so whatever. At least I'm not whining and bragging to other people. Well, I got promoted to Cadet Staff Sergeant... :D Which I'm totally stoked about. By the looks of things, I'll be a Cadet Gunnery Sergeant by banquet. And as if being promoted rank-wise wasn't enough, I was promoted from Squad Leader to Platoon Sergeant! *happy dance* That's two billet-ranks above Squad Leader! I think... But anyways... It seems like ROTC is the only thing that can make me happy, nowadays.

Uhh... Well another cool thing is that I'm talking to Jono a lot more, recently. I like that kid. Not like-like. But he's one of those people that I know that I want to be tight with. He hates people. So do I. He introduced me to Megadeth and Judas Priest. I'm so glad he's my friend. This sounds all sappy, but I'm serious. :/


Too much sweet sap.

Current Location: in my roooooom
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Romeo and Juliet - The Killers